What if you were me?

i cant expect this, how could i am? why am i really stupid on studying? all people around me said regretting cant solve your suck problem. it is the risk what you did in the past. yes i admitted it. aaaaaaaaaaaaa! i am stress now.

i disappointed my parent, family, my best friends & all people who supported me before. this problem, started from i quite hated math lesson. during i was in elementary school, i dislike math indeed. although i often got 5 top  rank in my class. my math score was always 7. i increased my scores to get my rank in another studies example science, social, sport, art, bahasa indonesia etc. I really miss that moment. my parents were very proud of me, and looked forward to my great future.

when i am entering Junior High School, i was very stupid or dumb haha. i do not know why i could be that. i was totally change from my elementary school life. seems like i really like to enjoying my JHS life than studying. at least, i graduated with a high score and i was accepted at Senior High School.

but, during my shs life. many problems came. i even can not write on this blog, what problems were. so many, many and many. but i acted which i had not a problem at all, i was on the wrong way. oh god, is this called 'SHS life'? wth life.

about 2 years ago. oh thanks goodness, i was reprimanded by God. and I had given a chance to changing my destiny life. I tried to change my life. even though i was disappointing my parents and they appreciated what i did, as long as i did what the best for my life and them.

while i am trying to entering the college i wanted. i was very obsessed, yes it is my nature. what i wanted, somehow i must have it! but fate said i might not to have it :( whereas i have tried as i can. i could not get my fave college, my fave major. from that time, i said "oh, this is the risk what i did in the past. i was not obedient to parents, i was remiss, i was never wanted to be closer to God, whatever i did was the wrong way. i may not to be that person again, i have scolded by God twice. means that i was not a good person. i must have my good life come back" i think all people in the whole world would think like this if they got problems like me.

hufff, i even can not face to my beloved guy, how embarrassed i am. i just too obsessive instead him whereas he was always supporting me. sorry boy :)

Photocard.......

sebel banget.. knapa gue dilahirin dengan sifat obsesian gini? kalo pengen ini, mau ga mau harus dapet. walaupun kata orang gawaras,gila,nekat.. yaa klo gw pengen. gw pasti ngelakuin apa aja..

Binguuuung, mau ngirim surat ke seseorang di spore, tapi dia ga ngeri cara ngirim surat ke Indonesianya.. aduuuh tante (pdahal kamu kan udah kuliah-_-) bener2... pengen banget punya photocard KYU :'(